Blair Movies: Witchery, 1988.

Also released as Evil Encounters, this was an Italian production. Alongside Mrs Blair we also have one of the all-time greats, David Hasselhoff! This was made in-between Knight Rider and Baywatch, a year in which I don’t think he was up to too much. The idea here is that A few different people, Mr The Hoff and his business associate, and Mrs Blair and her family both end up at a haunted hotel and get systematically killed by an old witch. Enzo Sciotti, the man who made the poster also did work for the Evil Dead films, Nightmare on Elmstreet, Scream, James Bond, and Maximum Overdrive.

The film’s setting of an old sea-side motel is pretty good. Set in New England, it gives us that nice Lovecrat/Poe atmosphere. The building is isolated and lonely feeling. I like that it isn’t completely run down and decrepit as one might expect. It makes it feel as if it’s safe enough for one to explore but dangerous enough to keep you on your toes. The hauntings are fairly standard – weird lights, faces being seen in reflections, appliances turning on by themselves, baby carriages rocking, earthquakes, and the odd possession.

Mrs Blair spends much of the film wearing bulky civilian clothing and rocking a sort of goofy mullet-looking hair-do. No crazy leather catsuits, no roller disco leotards, no curly locks of hair. She also spends the film pregnant so that might account for the wardrobe. Her pregnant state plays an interesting roll in the film – along with several of the other characters, we have have quite the picture of womanhood painted. A shy virgin, a lusty real-estate agent, the pregnant Mrs Blair displaying a strong maternal instinct for her younger brother, and finally the old crone motivated by beauty to the point that she quit acting to avoid people seeing her age. It’s pretty interesting seeing all of these different “archetypes” exist together. I could see someone taking a feminist horror class in university writing a paper on the subject.

Kills include:
Hanging from a fishnet, that is some nets for catching fish on a boat, not cute legwear for goth girls.
Getting psychically pulled through a dumb-waiter into hell then roasted alive.
Crucifixion-Immolation combo.
Impaled through the neck with a railway spike.
Voodoo brain aneurism? I don’t have a clue what was happening with this guy. It’s like all the blood couldn’t reach his head so it started bursting out of all his veins. Crazy.
Impaled by a candlestick.

Blood, Breasts, and Beasts (by way of witches) are all present – a perfect Triple Crown! In addition, a 1983 Ford Econoline ambulance is presented to us though only for a brief moment. Shame Mrs Blair was never in a van film (but she should have been!). There’s no mention of Mrs Blair’s baby-daddy in the film, the relationship between Mr The Hoff and his girlfriend doesn’t really go anywhere, and he has a really good chemistry with Mrs Blair’s younger brother. I would have liked it if they hooked up and rode off into the sunset together at the end of the film. The actual ending is far more depressing, by which I mean it’s literally any other ending than the one I just described. I shan’t spoil it though. I wish the kills were a bit more in-the-moment – too often we see the aftermath of the kill but not the action itself. Mrs Blair also isn’t super cute in this one. I enjoyed it but it’s far from the best slasher I’ve ever seen. One Thumb Up Seal of Approval would be fair.