Van Movies: Corvette Summer, 1978.

I briefly mentioned this one earlier when Annie Potts was mentioned and we have reached the point where I get to talk about this gem. Mark Hamill (this time I spelled his name right) and Annie Potts go on a quest for Mr Skywalker’s tricked out 1973 Stingray in Las Vegas. Why is it a van movie you might ask – Corvettes aren’t vans. Well you’re right. But Annie Potts takes a lesson from the C.B. Hustlers and prostitutes out of a van – a 1971 Chevy that she lovingly has named Vanessa (after herself – sort of). Dick Miller also makes a cameo as a lucky gambler with Brion James as one of the car thieves.

look at Luke Skywalker’s goofy-ass bigfoot walk

The opening scenes of this film show Mr Hamill and his auto-shop class mates working on the Stringray in kind of a montage which is fun. Any movie with an engine hoist is alright in my books. Even Grease. Well maybe not Grease. Anyways, it’s nice seeing how this car started out as a crumpled body found in a junkyard to a thing of beauty. It also establishes that Mr Hamill is a bit of a geek and not too great with the ladies. He’s always thinking about the car. The youth of today would refer to that as the sigma grindset if I am not mistaken. The kid even skips prom to go and be with the car where he ends up having a bit of J&B blended scotch with his teacher. Shortly after they head to Hollywood Boulevard where they cruise around with some lowriders, drag race against a Plymouth of some kind, and communicate over C.B. to a 1974 Dodge Tradesman. Then the car gets stolen, Mr Hamill gets pissed, then heads to Vegas to get it back.

People complain about Mr Hamill in Star Wars as being whiny. I can kind of see it but it also makes sense. He’s the irritating farm boy of the monomyth. Now Corvette Summer? That’s a whining Mr Hamill. Remember when he’s shrieking to 3-P0 to shut down all the garbage smashers? Expect a lot of that. He comes off as kind of a dick at times. Always giving Mrs Potts a hard time when she just wants to be the best prostitute she can be. Gets all ticked off at a guy who picked him up for driving too slow, always screaming at everyone because they’re not helping him enough. Man just take what you can get and make the best of it. Stop being an entitled baby. Meanwhile, Mrs Potts expresses an unflappably positive attitude. She has a goal and she’s always chasing it, regardless of the implication. She gets roughed up by a John and what does she do? Just says that she shouldn’t pick up fellas with blue jeans anymore.

So ya the Corvette is pretty fancy but we’re not here for that. Carpet on the door’s interiors, plush read curtains, front-and-rear roof lights, a fridge, a full vanity, waterbed, ornate bedposts, fur blankets, and purple & red moodlights, and a skylight. This thing rocks. The only thing bad about the van is everytime I think of it, I’m reminded that Mr Hamill turned down Mrs Potts advances several times while in the van. What the fuck is wrong with this kid? When you find yourself in a van with a water bed, you do what you gotta do. No excuses.

thank god I managed to find a shot with both Mrs Potts and the van

I can’t see most people enjoying this movie only because I’m sure most people are expecting Luke Skywalker and they’re getting a nerdy virgin not having sex with Annie Potts. It’s pretty great though. The way Mrs Potts deals with the moping teenager that is Mr Hamill is extremely reminiscent of Sally and Lucy from Peanuts. Unfortunately there’s no roadside bars. Would have been nice to see our two main characters get drunk and dance to country and/or western music along Route 66, and there’s not really any diners. We do get a sweet van though. I feel as though adding a bar-room brawl would have really improved this film. Perhaps a fight would give Mr Hamill some much needed confidence. We get a fight but it’s at the end but it involves the actions of an honourless cur striking from hiding. For all its flaws, I would normally have to pass over this but the inclusion of a delightfully attractive Mrs Potts bumps this up to a One Thumb Up Seal of Approval. That’s pushing it considering the van gets sold. The final chase is pretty good though.