Almost Van Movie: Death Car on the Freeway, 1979.

Another road thriller, hopefully this one has more vans than Midnight or Mad Bomber. This was a made-for-TV flick which would explain why the opening credits of this is kind of shit with no music, just overhead shots of the LA freeway. I like that while giving the credits, it specifically has a section for “cameo appearances” and boy are there some sweet actors here. Frank Gorshin, Peter Graves, Dina Shore, and Abe Vigoda. Cool. Unfortunately, these credits fail to mention the Sid Haig cameo. Shameful. The idea behind this is that a crazed van driver, using a 1974 Dodge Tradesman to run women off the road to their deaths while cranking the most whack-ass crazy bus tunes on his 8-track player.

In terms of the wider Van Cinematic Universe if such an absurd thing could exist, I believe that the van murderer could make an appearance in Van Nuys Blvd if only because in the opening scenes, they drive pass an exit sign for Van Nuys Boulevard. Hopefully Will Adler smoked him in a race. That being said, I can’t find any other recognizable vans from The Van or Van Nuys Blvd or CB Hustlers or what have you. A man can dream of the unified van world.

We see almost none of the inside of the van (or the driver for that matter) but we do know that it’s suitably tricked out. We know that it has an upgraded suspension due to it flying off-road at one point and not betting completely destroyed, it has tinted windows, we know that it gets pimped out with not one, but two paint jobs, one with flames so it goes faster, and the driver has opened up the panel separating the engine from the cab. Why? Beats the hell out of me but you can see it next to his foot when he slams that accelerator to ram some poor bastards.

Comparing this to Mad Bomber, I’m much more impressed. The film’s action takes place purely on the road. Granted, much of this is in the form of some brief montages and I would have liked if we got some more chase scenes. What they did was good enough though thanks to the use of the musical cue. You’d quickly hear that then instantly jump to a scene of the aftermath. I can understand why this happened – it’s a tv movie. The budget just isn’t there to do such an elaborate series of chase scenes. The film is much better paced as well. By the half-hour mark we already have several kills, the general plot of the female reporter setting out to track the guy down despite the administrative difficulties facing her, and we even have a psychological profile of the murderer, something that we don’t get in Mad Bomber until some twenty minutes after we get it in this. The choice to help nudge the plot along with a series of news headlines by the main character is pretty interesting. I like it.

For a movie not really about vans, this one’s pretty good. It even has a message suitable for the modern viewer about victim blaming against women. At least I think that’s relevant to the modern day – as I’m sure everyone can tell, I have no idea what goes on in the 21st century. Unfortunately, there’s no rural roadside biker bars with fist fights, no small-town diners. We do get a cool van and some absolutely banger curtains in the main girl’s house that I want. That classic 70s ugly ass yellow and brown and orange get-up. I enjoyed the killer not really being given a face. It makes the van a character on its own – kind of like the Enterprise – and it’s fun to switch things up and have the van as the villain instead of the hero. A cool and curious little nugget from the late seventies. I’m happy I watched this. One Thumb Up Seal of Approval